Taking care of mental health

Working in the issue we are passionate about does not mean we will feel happy all the times. At some point, when work is too overwhelming, it can also lead to stress. A friend of mine who usually enjoys interfaith events cannot feel the same excitement organising interfaith events. He simply just has too much work to do.

I feel taking care of my mental health was a lot more challenging when I was working in advocacy. Activists are faced with the dilemma of helping others in need while also taking care of their own mental health. It is also the dilemma of helping others or spending time with our loved ones.

Incidents occur at unpredictable times, so we need to be ready to respond at any time. A couple of emergency meetings might come when we are on a tight deadline or during festive seasons. My research deadline was fast approaching and I got an emergency meeting invite for the next 2 hours. I was so stressed out. Not only dealing with the stress, it also made me feel so guilty of not being able to fully commit to the meeting as I needed to catch up with my work deadline.

Furthermore, more than one incident might happen simultaneously. I was once in a situation where several minority groups reached out to me to help advocate their issues. Tight deadlines coupled with invitations to advocate two or more incidents and high expectations from the marginalised sometimes made me feel overwhelmed.

Incidents are also getting more common during festive seasons. For example, several dozen churches are sealed and Christians in some parts of Indonesia are banned from celebrating Christmas. Along with other NGOs, we created an NGO coalition to advocate for a Christian congregation who was banned from organising Christmas service. I was in a dilemmatic situation because Christmas and year-end season is the only time I gather with my big family. There were times I thought I would just cancel my family plan and be there with the marginalised we were advocating. I ended up not cancelling my family plan. But even when I spent time with my big family, I questioned myself if I was making the right decision. I felt guilty of not being there to provide emotional support when the Christian community needed help.

It was more than just an issue of work-life balance. For me, it was overcoming the feeling of guilt knowing someone needed help, but I was not able to help. Moreover, I knew the marginalised put lots of hope in us, so it put another pressure when I could not help.

Gratefully, I have supportive friends who continue to make me feel better. They made me aware that we all contribute to the advocacy in different ways. There are NGOs who focus more on fieldwork, but others play a role in policy advocacy and awareness-raising campaigns. They convinced me that despite not being able to come to the church, I had played my part in developing press release and policy advocacy. Other NGOs would complement in going to the field to provide psychological and legal support.

My activist friend said there is a tendency that activists feel guilty of not being able to always help. He said:

We are not superheroes. And we must get rid of this syndrome of thinking we should be able to provide all kinds of help at all times. We contribute to advocacy in different ways.

In practice, this is not always easy. He was the one who gave such advice, but he himself had a hard time parting from the community he was advocating when he needed to join an academic conference. He has a strong emotional attachment with the community and they have been part of his life.

Given limited time and energy, it is impossible to advocate all issues. I believe advocacy is a collective action. Thus, to ensure sustainable advocacy, we need to have a clear portion what each of us can contribute. We also need to continue to support and back up each other.

I have two role-model activists whom I really admire. They are so passionate in advocating religious freedom and peace, but have different styles. They have taught me that there is no single type of ideal activist. One of them politely and confidently turned down invitations when he had family commitment, "I could not join the press conference tomorrow because it's my wife's birthday, and we're going to have dinner together!". Another one has not spent time with his children for some months because he has been involved in advocacy, and he also feels so bad about it.

I believe it is best to just follow our heart. Prioritising family does not make us less of an activist. But choosing advocacy over family should not be viewed negatively, too. Finding a good balance between the two is something I believe all activists are trying to do. Nevertheless, it would be good to create a support system whereby we can back up each other when our activist friends are having family time. That way, we can ensure sustainable advocacy without sacrificing our relations with family.

And regardless of all the challenges, I am glad making advocacy part of my journey. I believe advocacy is worth pursuing and will continue to do it no matter where I work.